Epicurus believed that friendship was essential to a happy life. He didn’t see it as just emotional support—it was part of living wisely and well.
Here’s how to make and keep friends, based on his philosophy:
1. Seek Simplicity, Not Status
Epicurus taught that happiness comes from simple pleasures and peace of mind—not wealth or fame. So don’t build friendships based on status, networking, or gain. Look for people who value honesty, calm, and mutual care.
2. Be Trustworthy and Kind
He said friendship is rooted in mutual trust. To build real connection, be reliable. Be kind without expecting favors in return. Over time, this creates bonds that don’t need constant reassurance.
“Of all the things which wisdom provides to make us entirely happy, much the greatest is the possession of friendship.”
— Epicurus
3. Share a Common Life
Epicurus and his followers lived in a small community—the Garden—where they ate, studied, and talked together. He believed friendships grow through shared experiences, daily conversation, and living life side by side.
4. Be Present in Hard Times
True friends don’t just show up when it’s convenient. They’re there when life is hard. Epicurus praised friends who stand by each other “not for gain but for the sake of love.”
5. Choose Friends Who Pursue Peace
Epicurus warned against friendships with people driven by drama, ambition, or chaos. Choose people who want calm, freedom from fear, and a simple, thoughtful life.
Epicurus didn’t think happiness was possible without friendship. To him, friends weren’t just nice to have—they were the foundation of a good life.
Signs of toxic friends you need to walk away from
Here’s a straightforward list of signs of toxic friends—so you can spot the red flags early:
1. They Make You Feel Worse, Not Better
After hanging out, you feel drained, anxious, or insecure. Good friends lift you; toxic ones wear you down.
2. It’s Always About Them
They dominate conversations, ignore your problems, and show little interest in your life unless it benefits them.
3. They Disrespect Your Boundaries
They pressure you, overstep limits, or guilt-trip you when you say no.
4. They Undermine You
Backhanded compliments, subtle put-downs, or public embarrassment are all signs they don’t truly support you.
5. They Compete, Not Celebrate
They get jealous of your wins and downplay your progress instead of being happy for you.
6. They Gossip—Especially About You
If they talk badly about others to you, chances are they talk badly about you to others.
7. They Keep Score
They remind you of what they’ve done for you and expect something in return. Real friendship isn’t transactional.
8. They Don’t Take Responsibility
They never apologize. If there’s conflict, it’s always your fault—or someone else’s.
9. They’re Inconsistent
Sometimes they’re kind, other times cold or cruel. You never know what version you’ll get, which keeps you off balance.
10. You Feel Like You Have to Pretend
You can’t be fully yourself around them. You hide your opinions, emotions, or success to avoid judgment or drama.
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