A great question it is. As an epicurean can i marry? What did Epicurus say about marriage? In this article you will find what Epicurus say about marriage.
Yes, some Epicureans did marry—but it wasn't encouraged as a rule. Epicurean philosophy doesn’t outright ban marriage, but it treats it with caution.
Here’s how it breaks down:
1. Marriage Is a Personal Choice, Not a Moral Duty
Epicureans didn’t see marriage as necessary for a good life. Unlike many other philosophies or religions of the time, they didn’t treat it as a civic or sacred obligation. What mattered most was whether it helped or hurt your peace of mind (ataraxia).
2. Most Epicureans Were Advised to Avoid It
Epicurus himself suggested that the wise person likely wouldn’t marry or raise children unless something unusual made it worth it. Why? Because marriage often came with emotional stress, financial burdens, and social obligations—things that could disturb one’s inner calm.
3. But They Weren’t Celibate or Anti-Love
Epicureans weren’t cold or loveless. They valued friendship highly and saw calm, stable companionship as deeply rewarding. Some Epicureans did marry—if it suited their temperament and life circumstances.
4. Epicurean Communities Were Often Mixed
Epicurus welcomed women, slaves, and people of all backgrounds into his school (The Garden), and some of these people likely formed long-term partnerships, including marriages. But these relationships were based on mutual respect and shared values—not social pressure.
Pros and Cons of marriage according to epicurus
Here’s an honest, clear breakdown of the pros and cons of marriage from an Epicurean perspective—based on the core goal of life in Epicureanism: achieving pleasure through peace of mind and freedom from pain (ataraxia and aponia).
Pros of Marriage (When It Aligns with Epicurean Values)
✅ Companionship
A peaceful, loving partner can provide emotional comfort, shared joy, and a sense of belonging—all of which support a pleasurable life.
✅ Mutual Support
A stable marriage can offer practical and emotional help through life’s challenges—especially when it’s based on friendship, not obligation.
✅ Consistency and Trust
If a marriage is calm and free from emotional drama, it can create a steady source of comfort, which aligns with Epicurean values.
Cons of Marriage (Why Epicurus Was Cautious)
❌ Emotional Turmoil
Marriage often comes with jealousy, arguments, expectations, and attachment—all of which can disturb mental peace.
❌ Social and Financial Pressure
Marriage brings responsibilities—family, children, money—which can increase stress and distract from the pursuit of a calm, simple life.
❌ Loss of Autonomy
Epicureans valued freedom. Marriage can limit your ability to live independently and focus on personal happiness.
❌ Cultural Expectations
Marriage was (and still is) often shaped by social norms rather than personal choice. Epicureans rejected doing things just because society says you “should.”
Was Epicurus married?
No, Epicurus was not married.
There’s no historical evidence that he ever took a wife or had children. In fact, he lived a simple, communal life in his garden-school in Athens, surrounded by close friends—men and women—who shared his philosophy. That lifestyle reflected his belief that deep friendship was a better, more stable source of happiness than romantic or family obligations.
Epicurus didn’t condemn marriage outright, but he personally chose not to marry—likely because he saw it as a potential distraction from the peace and mental clarity he valued most.
Summary
Marriage isn’t “bad,” but it’s risky.
Only choose it if it brings more peace than pain.
If it disrupts your calm, it’s not worth it.
Friendship is often safer and more reliable for long-term happiness.
“The wise man does not marry or rear children, unless some peculiar circumstances occur.”
— Epicurus, via Diogenes Laërtius
